So as I am REdiscovering my worth as a mother, and REdefining what being a mother means to me, I have had to come to terms with the fact the although I was a young mom, made a ton of mistakes, and in my eyes failed in many areas, it is NOT too late to start over.
After the year my husband and I had with our son in school last year, I decided to quit my great paying job at the end of 2016 and focus on him and Janai, but mainly him, this year. I had to stop feeling guilty for his bad judgement and lack of hard work concerning his school work and start holding him accountable. Sometimes it means that on beautiful days like today, I am forced to tell him No, you can not go to the Y to play basketball or hop on your Xbox for the entire weekend, today, your going to do your homework, and complete the assignments that you thought you could NOT turn in and I wouldn’t find out about them. I feel awful when he looks at me like I’m the worst parent on the planet, huffs and puffs and walks off with an attitude, but I quickly call him back (attempt not to smack him into last week for being disrespectful), look him in the eyes and tell him that, I refuse to allow him to fail. He hates me now but he’ll love me later. Then I go in my room, look myself in the mirror, dry my tears and remind myself, that I am a good mom, I made mistakes, I am unfinished but not UNWORTHY to be his mom. Are ya’ll following my intentional parenting journey? It may be ugly sometimes but it’s my truth. #Hewillwalkthatstage #getthatdiploma #enrollincollege #theniwillbreathe