“Submit therefore to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” – James 4:7
Recently I was doing a heart check of my role in my marriage. I try to do them often as a way to better myself and increase my value as a wife. As I began to check myself, my heart was convicted. I realized that every month or bimonthly Josh and I get into some sort of spat. Most times they start with something small or something that really has nothing to even do with us, but it ends up into a full blown argument. I have always had a short temper so I am normally the one that goes from zero to 100 real quick. After each argument, I sit back and say to myself, “Why did you get so angry?’, Why did you say things that you now can not take back?, what was your angle, what was your trigger point? You can’t keep doing this.” Eventually we make up and life goes back to normal, but is it really normal or have I been making that behavior MY NEW NORMAL?
A few months ago I began to ask God to show me when my trigger is being pulled and give me time to catch it. Last month he gave me my “Ah Ha!” moment. I realized that it was normally the week of or before I was to be visited by my monthly friend (menstrual cycle) that this spats began. Some months I would be overly exhausted, and other months I turned into a demon possessed women that I was ashamed of. The devil is so tricky. See, the devil aims to destroy marriages. My husband is the head of our household but I am the neck. It’s my role to encourage him, pray for him, instruct our children, keep our home clean, ect. If the devil succeeds at cutting off the neck, then the head can not properly, and completely lead. So what does he do? He uses the very thing that we have been taught as young women is a sign of entering into womanhood, something to be cherished, our menstrual cycle. See it’s a silent destroyer. When you get your period, your mother talks to you about all of the side effects and symptoms that come with it so you will be properly prepared and not afraid. They tell you that you will get cramps, you may crave sweet treats, exhaustion may overtake you and you may have mood swings. But don’t be afraid, there is a cure for each symptom. If you have cramps, take some Tylenol. You crave sweets, just eat a Hershey bar. If your exhausted, get some rest and drink plenty of water. As far as the mood swings, others around us are taught to just ignore them and us. The mood swings was the side effect that the Devil chose to use against me. My mood would make me irritated and annoyed easily. I would respond to Josh with short answers. Lay in the bed and allow my thoughts to run laps in my mind, stressing out about everything from bills to goals I didn’t reach, to people who hurt me in the past, giving myself my own little pity party and then taking it out on the person closest to me, Josh. He had no clue what was going on, so feeling attacked, he defended himself and the spat would become an argument. The neck wanted to go one way and the head the other.
On Saturday we came home form a relaxing four day vacation. We had a great time. As soon as we got back we began to head to our church’s Easter Egg Hunt. It was an absolute blast. When we finally arrived home that evening and began to wind down and prepare for Resurrection Sunday. My smile soon turned into a frown. The reality of unpaid bills hit me. My upcoming schedule began to overwhelm me. Josh kept asking me what was wrong and of course my response was “nothing” which is girl code for “I don’t want to be bothered”. That was not a good response for him so of course he kept asking and pushing and I could feel my adrenaline beginning to rise. It was then that the holy spirit spoke to me and said, “It’s coming”. Just like that I snapped out of it. I refused to allow the devil to take advantage of a symptom that I was taught was normal. I chose to take control. I immediately began to pray and ask God to give me strength over my attitude and my feelings. I then thanked him for giving me insight and putting me in a position to see the devils weapons form before they could prosper.
This got me to thinking over my life. How many times since I was twelve years old had the devil used something so precious to my womanhood to control my words and actions toward my family and friends. How many times could battles have not been turned into wars? How many relationships had I lost because I was blind to his weapons and allowed them to prosper? As I prepare my daughter to welcome her monthly visitor, in addition to the cures that my mother taught me, I plan to teach her about the cure that you don’t have to purchase, it doesn’t require a prescription, it just requires you to listen to the calming whisper of Gods voice and go before him in prayer. It will save you from stress, anxiety, and depression. I will teach her to pray.