“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)
I never imagined that I would be posting this particular blog post. I had made up my mind, things were NEVER going to change!
If you have followed my blog and read any of my previous post, then you know the history of my son’s father and I. If you haven’t, I’ll sum our history up in one word, TOXIC. We had that Chris Brown and Rhianna love before Chris Brown and Rhianna ever discovered it. The only good that came from it was our son.
Through the years I made up my mind that I was not going to have anything at all to do with him. I was frustrated, stressed out, annoyed and truth be told I was still hurt from the pain he cause my heart. As strong and independent as I am I had allowed someone to become apart of me that almost caused me to lose my mind. When Josh and I got together he stopped me from fighting for child support and partaking in anymore fights and arguments. He showed me that it wasn’t worth it and the real person that was hurting was Jamir, not me. So, a few years ago, when Jamir was old enough to get his own phone, I cut off all communication between his dad and I. I blocked him from my phone, I blocked him from social media, and ensured that he only had access to Jamir.
Around August of 2015 a friend of mine said, have you ever considered praying for him? I looked at her like she was crazy, praying for him? Yeah right! I’m a Christian, but God excused me from praying for him, LOL! I joked with her and then forgot about it. A few days later God began to bring the conversation back to my mind and then pierce my heart. He spoke to me and said “You laugh and joke but the truth is, You call yourself a Christian, how could you not pray for him? Don’t I love you through all your sin? You break my heart every day and I still forgive and Love you. He is my child just as you are” Whoa! Talk about feeling foolish. I felt like a fool. If you had looked up the word conviction on that day, there my picture would be.
So, I began to pray for him. When I prayed for my husband, my kids, my parents, my leaders, my boss, my friends, I prayed for him. Since I complained about the six dollars in child support that I received via his earnings being withheld, I began to pray that God would provide him a better job, increase his income. I prayed for his health, so sickness wouldn’t attack his body, I prayed for God to cover him so death wouldn’t come his way, I prayed for him to treat his significant other good so she would always treat my child good, I prayed that he would realize the importance his presence represented to Jamir. It took some time, I didn’t see the results of my prayers immediately, but we know how perfect God’s timing is.
In September, he showed up to Jamir’s football game. The first time he has ever seen Jamir play. In December he sent him a Christmas gift, the second time he has ever done that. In January I noticed that my child support payments began to increase a little, and I never went to court to have it enforced or increased. Two weeks ago Josh had to preach in Bridgeport and the boys dance group that Jamir is apart of at our church was accompanying him to minister. About 15 minutes from the church God spoke to me and told me to text him and invite him to see Jamir dance, so I did. When we arrived at the church, he was there. I was SHOCKED to say the least. He told me that he wasn’t going to be able to stay, but he at least wanted to come by and see Jamir really quick. The service had already started so I went in and took my seat. A few minutes later, Jamir came in and sat with his group in the row in front of me. I looked behind me and there sat Jamir’s dad and his aunt. As the service went on I kept looking behind me, and every time I looked, he was still sitting there a few rows behind me. When Jamir’s group got up to minister, he was still there, recording Jamir dancing. When Josh got up to preach he made his acknowledgements, and because he is the stand up guy that he truly is, he acknowledged Jamir’s father. My heart wept. Josh preached his socks off that day. His sermon was entitled “In the Fire”, and it was so on time. When the benediction was done, I looked behind me, and there still sat Jamir’s father. He ended up telling his job he would be late, and stayed for the entire service. My God.
It has been a long 15 years. When I look back over history, I would have never thought we would be sitting in church together, as friends, as my HUSBAND preached Gods word. There is NOTHING that God can not do. There is NOTHING to small or minuscule to him when it concerns us, his children. His only requirement is our faith and obedience.