Last night in bible study my co pastor was speaking on Peter, a Jew and Cornelius, a gentile. She was teaching from Acts chapter 10. She was explaining how God used Peter to bring salvation even though by religion, Jews and Gentiles did not have any relationship with each other. But because of God and his divine connection he brought these two gentleman together for the sake of salvation.
I began to ponder this thing called divine connections and began to reminisce on my life, which to me is one big story of divine connection, but one part of my life in particular. Now, I’m going to fast forward my story a bit, but because I am literally writing this blog according to God’s direction, this is where he directed me to, August 2006.
One summer, almost fall day, I found myself in a crazy situation. My son’s father was coming to pick him up for the weekend. Now I knew there was going to be some mess because there always was. This day he decided that he was going to bring his new girlfriend along for the ride. When they finally arrived at my cousins house, where I was staying until my apartment was ready, it seemed like this was going to be an easy send off. But as I strapped my son into the back seat of his car, he made a comment, I’m not even sure what the comment was, but whatever it was, it was enough to set me off. Now when I say set me off, I mean set me OFF. I literally blacked out. He began calling me every demeaning name he could think of, right in front of our son. When he sat down in the front seat and closed his door, I immediately jumped into the back seat, directly behind him, grabbed the gold link chain he was wearing around his neck, and pulled it until his head was strapped to the headrest. I’m not sure how long I held him like that, or where I got the strength from, but I didn’t snap out of it until my cousin’s husband was able to carry me out of the car. Oh, but it didn’t stop there. When I was able to get free, I took a hammer that I found in the driveway and proceeded to try and bust the windows out the car while I grabbed my son out the back seat. My cousins husband yet again grabbed me up and this time put me in the house.
“Sana, snap out of it!!, what is wrong with you??” My cousin screamed. “Look at your hands, their bleeding all over the place”, “You have got to stop allowing him to have this power over you!”After I cleaned myself up, and looked myself in the mirror, I realized I didn’t know the girl staring back at me. Somewhere along the way, when I thought I was in Love with a man, I stopped loving myself. I sat down and I cried out to God, “God, I’m tired of THIS. I’m tired of being tired, I need you God. I just want to be loved. When are you going to send me someone who loves me for ME??”.
That night I cried and prayed myself to sleep. The next morning I awake to my cousin shaking me, “Get up, you need to go to church” she said. “Girl I’m not going to nobody’s church, do you see how I look? Look at my hands, their bandaged up”, “If you go with us to church this one time, I won’t ask you again” “Okay fine, I’ll go.”
I’ll never forget that day. It was raining and as we walked up to the church I noticed this guy on crutches, talking on his cell phone. As we walked by I turned to my cousins husband and said, “I’m going to marry him.” He looked at me and laughed, “Sana are you serious? You don’t even know him and you almost went to jail for murder yesterday”. We went into church and I couldn’t even pay attention to the message, I just stared at the guy from outside who was now playing the drums. At the end of service, they did the announcements and the lady called up Bro. Josh Cotten, he had an additional announcement to make. Well Josh Cotten turned out to be the pastors baby son. My cousins husband turned to me and said, “you still want to marry him?” “I sure do, and when this is over, I need you to give him my number”, “what? I’m not giving that man your number, girl you in church”. Long story short, I ended up approaching Josh myself and I asked for his number, his response was “I don’t normally give females my number in church, so I’ll give it to your cousin and then he can give it to you” No problem, that works for me.
Josh and I ended up talking later that night, and went on our first date that Friday. Our date conversation went like this:
Me: Listen, I don’t have time for games, so if you playing games then we can end this now. I’m trying to be married.
Josh: Well just know that even if you have a baby by me, I won’t marry you until I’m ready.
Just like that we were an item. I moved into my apartment 2 days later and he moved in with me. He proposed on July 4, 2007 and we married on August 14, 2007.
Now that wasn’t even what makes this a divine connection. This is what makes me a divine connection. Prior to Josh proposing, he took me to meet his grandmother, Nana. When I walked in, Nana says to me “I know you already”. “You do?”, yeah hold on, I’ll be right back. She goes in her room and comes back a few minutes later and hands me a photo. The photo is a photo of me and my twin brother when we lived in Bridgeport with our foster family.
My God. It was already his plan. Joshua Cotten is my Peter, God sent him to me to bring salvation.